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Look Rejection in the Eye and Keep on Going

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Magleby’s chocolate cake. Starbucks Italian cream sodas. Sailor Moon. What do these three things have in common? They are my rejection letter comforts.

Let’s face it. No one wants to see the words This just isn’t a good fit for me when they open that email from the agent who has had their query for the last twenty-three days (or twenty-three minutes, as was the case in my fastest rejection). But even your favorite authors have had to deal with rejection. So how do you survive when all you really want to do is climb into bed and never write another word again? Here are some tips to surviving rejection and living to write another day.

1. Reward yourself!

The mere fact that you’re putting yourself out there and sharing your story with the world is a big deal. You should be proud. A rejection means that you took a shot. You actually wrote that query, found that agent, and pressed send. You’re no longer just another soul who wrote a few words and called it a book. You are submitting. You are a writer. So when John Luc doesn’t think your story is right for him, smile and know that you are one step closer to finding who it is right for. And then go get that scoop of your favorite Baskin-Robbins flavor. You deserve it—because tomorrow you have another query to send.

2. Remember that not everyone loved Twilight.

It seems like every writing conference I go to I talk to someone who hates Twilight. Personally, I remember calling seven or eight people the minute I first finished reading it and telling them they had to read that book. This poor book has been raked over the coals, yet it has one of the biggest fan bases ever. The moral of the story? You are never going to please everyone. You don’t want an agent that is only so-so about your book. You want one that loves it like you do. Rejection is just a way to help you find your dream agent.

3. No doesn’t equal bad.

If you are going to survive the submission process, you need to change your mind-set. I have a dear friend who taught me this. When she first started a home business, she decided that instead of looking for the yes, she was going to look for the no. She was going to keep on contacting potential customers until she got twenty who said no. That wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be. She kept on getting yes after yes after yes. Let Murphy’s Law work for you: If you’re looking for a yes, you’re bound to get a no. But if you are looking for a no, well…

4. You’re not alone.

Kathryn Stockett was rejected 60 times before The Help finally found a home. Stockett isn’t alone. Consider Shannon Hale. J. K. Rowling. Stephen King. Some of the best-loved authors in the world got their fair amount of rejections before their novels found a place onto bookstore shelves and into the hearts of millions of readers. Well, they’re not alone, and neither are you. Agents don’t hate you if they reject you. Sure, you may get the occasional letter reminding you that only people who can actually write get published. When that happens, refer to point 1—and while you’re drowning your sorrows in chocolate, remind yourself that even Rudyard Kipling was told that he didn’t know how to use the English language. Then wash the sticky off your hands (or lick it off if you’re really depressed) and get back to submitting. You are not alone!

5. Read your book.

There is a reason you are putting yourself through this waiting game. You wrote a book—one that you love enough to share with the rest of the world. If you ever get to the point where you are ready to hang up your hat, go back and read a favorite scene. Remind yourself why you love this character or hate that villain. Find that one line that makes you laugh every time you think about it. Read that one part that you need almost an entire box of Kleenex just to get through. If you feel like it’s just not worth it, read your book, and then submit it for your characters. They are worth submitting for.

6. Overcome resistance.

Resistance is a major negative force that can hold you back from from fulfilling your dreams. Watch this inspiring video on how author Steven Pressfield overcame resistance, self-sabotage, and self-doubt (and how that’s more important than talent!).

Do This Now

  1. Submit. There is no need to worry about surviving rejection if you don’t take that first big step.
  2. Don’t sit by the mailbox playing the waiting game. Write. Read. Find someone else to whom you can submit.
  3. Get a three-ring binder and keep a copy of each rejection letter. Someday, when you’re famous, you’ll have some great stories to tell. While you’re at it, put a file in front of the binder to keep track of everyone you submit to and how long it took each one to respond.
  4. Lastly, you can stave off some of that rejection by learning what agents and editors are salivating for. Get some hints here.

This article was written by Sabine Berlin and was republished with permission from Eschler Editing.

A headshot of Sabine Berlin.

Sabine Berlin

Editor

Sabine Berlin is a senior editor at Eschler Editing, where she has worked for over twelve years to help writers bring their stories to life. She is the co-publisher of Mad Cat, the young adult imprint of Roan and Weatherford Publishing. Sabine has also successfully self-published (Oh My Oppa!) and traditionally published (And the Sky Full of Stars). 

    Getting Unstuck from a Creative Rut

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    Do you ever feel like your wheels are spinning, but you’re not moving forward?

    As a missionary in Flagstaff, AZ, my companion and I literally got our truck stuck in a rut on a very narrow dirt road. I remember the panicked feeling of being trapped and not knowing how we would get home. It took some time, a dozen or so prayers, and a lot of trial and error. Finally, using some very handy sticks for traction and a lot of oomph, we managed to get our truck unstuck.

    This experience has never left me, and I think of it often when I’m mentally stuck in a rut, spinning my wheels with no progress, despite pressing the gas again and again. Personally, I don’t believe in writer’s block. I’m always able to put words on a page, even if they aren’t very good words. But, having struggled with motivation for certain projects, I do believe in creative ruts. Over the years, I’ve acquired a few useful tools that help me get unstuck. Here are five tips to help you get out of your own artistic ruts.

    Co-Create with Body Doubling

    I have a confession to make: I hate revisions. People who know me might raise their eyebrows. “But aren’t you an editor?” Well, yes. But I don’t hate revising other people’s stories—I hate revising my own. Without fail, I hit a wall. All the self-doubt I kept at bay while drafting comes sneaking in, mocking me and making me question all my writing choices. So to avoid that, I simply don’t start the revisions.

    This avoidance, however, has proven to be a major problem because it prevents me from making progress on any of my stories.

    I came up with an idea to help me with this particular rut. I invited several of my writing friends to hop on a Zoom call with me and just write for an hour. To my relief (and my story’s benefit), I discovered that having someone present while I wrote helped me overcome my motivation slump and actually start revising. I made my way through the murky fog of revision and emerged on the other side better for it.

    I still meet with writer friends every week for scheduled writing time, which has had a huge impact on my writing and revising. If you haven’t tried this, I highly recommend it. Having someone on a Zoom call with you makes it a lot harder to get sucked into distractions because you have a witness to your efforts and an accountability partner to return and report your progress to.

    Create in a Different Location

    Another tool that can help you get out of your creative rut is to change your location. On my bad mental health days, I’ve found that simply getting out of my usual space helps me get out of my head. I’ll go to the library or a local park and just enjoy the world around me. Notebooks and sketchbooks are handy tools for alternate locations. Being somewhere new can spark ideas you wouldn’t have otherwise thought of. If you’ve been tapping the same artistic vein nonstop for weeks, months, or even years in the same location, try changing it up. You might find some new ideas to help you work through whatever is keeping you in that rut.

    Explore a Different Medium

    I don’t consider myself an artist, at least not in the traditional sense. I have some talent in painting, but my people always look like stick figures. However, when my creativity is running low and I’m struggling to make sense of my story, switching things up by painting or sketching can be therapeutic. It allows me to experiment without the pressure of forcing myself to write. Painting especially helps me want to write more.

    Try this out for yourself: if you’re a painter, maybe try writing a poem. (See this article about poetry.) If you’re a writer, try painting or knitting. If you’re a musician, try cooking or cross-stitching. Put yourself in a different medium to get the creative juices flowing. You never know when the perfect idea will strike—it might be while you’re learning to make the perfect crème brûlée.

    Change Up the Format

    Another tool that’s helped me break out of my rut is changing up the format. Most of my writing is done on my desktop computer. However, there are days when I sit at my keyboard and can’t bring myself to write. I’ll check my email for the thousandth time or watch yet another short on YouTube, but completely neglect the project I want to be working on.

    This is where changing up the format comes into play. When I was a kid, I did most of my writing by hand—I have dozens of notebooks and journals to prove it. I still handwrite in my journal, but I rarely do so for stories anymore. Recently, my work-in-progress was being difficult, and my motivation was extremely lacking. On a whim, I put pen to paper in a blank notebook. To my surprise, I wrote seven-and-a-half pages in one session. I’d gotten myself out of the rut simply by changing how I wrote.

    Try experimenting with different formats. If you’re a composer who uses MuseScore, try composing by hand. If you’re a painter who mostly uses oil, try watercolors. If you’re a digital artist, sketch something on paper. Writers, try writing by hand or typewriter. The novel format will help you find new pathways forward.

    Follow Prompts

    What if you’ve tried it all and you are still struggling to get unstuck? Not to worry, my friends, I’ve got one more trick up my sleeve. Despite trying some of the tools mentioned above, I may still find myself completely and utterly unmotivated, uninspired, and unexcited about working on any of my projects.

    This is where prompts come in handy. Sometimes the scariest thing about starting a new project is just knowing where to start. Having constraints, such as “paint a picture with only primary colors,” “write a short story featuring a hamster, a poncho, and a hammer,” or “write a poem using only words that start with the letter ‘A’” can prime the pump. Constraints actually allow for more creativity because they force your brain to work within a set of defined parameters, and they give you a firm launch point.

    There are countless free prompts available online for all sorts of art. These can include prompts to write short stories with a specific setting, character, or genre; create a song in a certain key, time signature, or rhythm; paint something that starts with the letter “R” or only with black and yellow pigments; and plenty more. Let your muse take over and turn that blank page into an answer to the prompt.

    Creating is hard and can take a lot of energy. You’re bound to find yourself in a rut now and then when you work the same way over and over again. My hope is that these five tools will help you find the traction you need to get unstuck and get back to doing what you do best—inspiring others through your art.

    A headshot of KaTrina Jackson.

    KaTrina Jackson

    Author, Editor

    KaTrina Jackson loves penguins, chocolate, and piano music, and spends much of each day trying to fit those loves in around her jobs as a freelance editor and a project manager for Eschler Editing. She graduated with a degree in editing and publishing from Brigham Young University. She’s a member of three different writing groups, attends and teaches at multiple writing conferences, has volunteered with LDSPMA since 2021, and recently published her first novel. When she’s not writing, editing, or reading, she can be found practicing yoga, teaching piano lessons, or watching Disney movies while working on a cross-stitch project. She and her husband live in Olathe, Kansas.