faith

A Conversation with Al Carraway

October 31, 2025 By LDSPMA Leave a Comment

Al Carraway is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well as a multi-award-winning international speaker and author of the books Wildly Optimistic, More Than the Tattooed Mormon, and Cheers to Eternity. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband, Ben, and their three children. For the past eleven years, she’s traveled the world telling her story of conversion and faith through difficult times.

According to Al, “Joining the Church is the most personal thing you could ever ask of someone,” as you have to change the way you think while leaving behind traditions, culture, and more that were once all you knew. Al began navigating these changes as a newly baptized tattooed twenty-one-year-old, and found that many established members of the Church did not treat her well. Being productive rather than destructive in the face of obstacles has become her process, and paying attention to her recurring thoughts has helped her incorporate God in that process.

Al has continually built her relationship with God since her conversion sixteen years ago. Whether mad, hurt, or confused, she’s honest with Him about how she feels and speaks to Him as though He’s right in front of her. During times when she’s felt He’s not there or not listening, she’s discovered that she simply hadn’t been willing to see how He showed up for her in ways she didn’t desire or expect. The adversary can get in our heads and alter our perspectives. Al fights his influence by being productive, by casting him out, and by removing the limitations she has placed on God while rooting herself deeper in her knowledge that He is real.

As her relationship with God has developed, Al has learned that, for her, the unexpected and unwanted things in her life are always God intervening on her behalf. All good things come from God, and she finds reminders of Him in even the smallest of good feelings. “That is God participating in your personal life. That is you experiencing God.”

Self-love has bridged the gap between insecurity and Al’s God-given purpose. As a writer and speaker, she doesn’t put stock in what others think of her, good or bad, because those opinions do not fill her. Allowing them to affect her can be disheartening and unmotivating. When she moved to Utah, strangers told her, “God could never love someone like you. Why would I ever want to date you? Who is going to marry someone that looks like that?” In recent years, Al continues to receive hate that sometimes escalates over extended periods. She trusts her relationship with God and does what He asks her to do, even if she knows she will face unpleasant backlash. She invests in loving herself and witnesses the ways God participates in her life. “Love God and serve Him and everything else is just noise. And when you do that . . . life just blossoms.”

A few years ago, Al’s family lived in a single hotel room in New York for two months while looking for housing. COVID, insurance, and other circumstances beyond their control left her feeling helpless. When talking to God about how she had been left out to dry, God responded, “Why won’t you let me bless you? Why won’t you let me take you somewhere better? That’s why I exist.” Al has learned to let God show her how great He is through all her trials and seasons of life. While there may be plenty to be said about what Peter could have done “better” when walking on the water, the truth remains that Peter is the only one who got out of the boat and tried to get closer to Christ. When Christ said, “O thou of little faith,” it wasn’t to rebuke Peter for his shortcomings—it was in response to Peter doubting that Christ would save him. Christ was always going to rescue him.

Not only will Christ rescue us, but He will also take us somewhere better, whatever that path might look like. Al shared, “Our God is one who only exists to bring us to greater magnifications.” She continues to work on trusting Him better, stating, “My favorite things have come from my sinkings.”

Al also voiced, “Our God is not a god of avoidance and prevention.” How many miracles and conversions would be lost if God had prevented the suffering that preceded them? In every detail of our lives, God is working to keep His promises and prepare for us something better than what we want for ourselves, even in the middle of the suffering. Many times, Al has acted on a prompting that didn’t seem to pan out only to find significance in it with the passing of time. The point isn’t that God can calm the wind and water—it’s that we continue reaching for Him, even in the storm.

Al is passionate about embracing a lifestyle that reflects God’s importance. She’s teaching her family to try new things, to invest in themselves, to be intentional with their time, and to talk to God. Even when they didn’t have much money, they would spend time together by getting in the car and driving, with or without a specific destination in mind. When someone says or does something hurtful, Al lets it hurt for a little bit, but she doesn’t let a bad day turn into a bad life. Her goal is to continually seek more ways to magnify her life.

As for her old nickname, “the tattooed Mormon,” Al confesses that she has always hated it. Years ago, she received a blessing and was told that God does not see her tattoos. To Him, they do not exist. If He doesn’t see them, why should she care what others think about them? Ninety-nine percent of the time, she doesn’t think about them, and once people start to know her, they don’t seem to see them either.

Loving herself and accepting the love of others, including God, continues to change her life. Al testifies that all of God’s future blessings for us are already prepared by Him. We are His, and that is all that matters in making us worthy. “That is everything.”

This article is based on a Called to Create podcast aired season 2, episode 2. To hear the full podcast, click here.

Sometimes Things Do Work Out

February 24, 2022 By Steve Dunn Hanson 28 Comments

By Steve Dunn Hanson

I first met Bill in 1987. He was a regional representative for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and was visiting our stake in Orange County, California where I served as a counselor in the stake presidency. To this day, I can’t tell you why there was almost instant bonding between us, as he was over 20 years my senior. Maybe it was because we both loved to write. In any case, virtually from the git-go we traded writings. Mine, fiction and self-help articles. His, memoirs and personal history. And what a history! From a boy of small stature with a horrific stuttering problem and son of a coal-dust-eating railroad engineer, to a man known throughout the world for his accomplishments and contributions.

I got the best of the bargain in our exchanges. Bill was not only the consummate “Martha” with his practicality and I’ll-figure-out-how-to-do-it genius, but he was a spiritual, poetic “Mary” as well, an extraordinary hybrid whose writing skill dwarfed my own.

An Act of Kindness

One of his stories was particularly poignant. As a boy, Bill lived in Provo, Utah, and his diminutive size and severe stuttering problem contributed to his painfully shy disposition. He was always the last one chosen for a team—if chosen at all—and was the subject of constant derision from many of his peers. He was maybe eight or nine-years-of-age when his grade school teacher gave the children an assignment to write an essay and then read the essay in front of the class.

Bill’s turn came, and he fearfully stood, knowing what would happen next. His stuttering was so overwhelming that he didn’t get more than a few words out before he stopped. Embarrassed to tears, he started to take his seat when the teacher told him to stay where he was. “You will finish, Bill,” she said. She probably meant well, thinking that forcing Bill to go through this would help him overcome his stuttering. For Bill, though, his teacher’s act bordered on cruel.

For the longest time, Bill just stood there. Then a remarkable thing happened. One of his classmates, a young girl by the name of Millie, who was sitting on the front row, reached out her hand, took his, then smiled up at him. That simple act of support calmed and strengthened him, and he finished his reading.

That simple act of support calmed and strengthened him.

Making Connections

Such were the Bill Gould stories he shared with me, and for the next few years, we kept in close touch. Bill’s wife, Erlyn, was a beautiful woman. How he idolized her and cared for her. She was a cancer victim and graciously and courageously struggled to stay afloat. She passed away in 1992, and it was as though a chunk of Bill died with her. For the next nearly two years it seemed as though Bill just disappeared, and I had little contact with him.

Then one day when my wife and I were in the Los Angeles Temple, I saw him. And he was not alone! When he saw me, his face turned total smile, and he pulled the woman he was with close to him. “Steve, do you remember one of my stories about a girl named Millie who held my hand to help me get through an agonizing ordeal when I was a boy?”

“Yes!” I answered. “Who could forget that story!”

Bill’s smile got wider. “This is Millie. Millie Gould now. We were married last week.”

My turn to smile!

Bill then talked about his funk when his wife, Erlyn, died. He was in an I’m-going-no-where morass, and he finally determined to get out of it. His plan was straight Bill Gould. He reviewed his life to determine those who had given him grace, who had made all the difference for him at critical times. Then one-by-one he sought them out to tell them thank you and to now impart his own grace to them to the extent he could.

While this was happening, Bill’s daughter, who lived in Provo, was talking to her neighbor, a widow, about her dad. She explained how difficult his life was since his wife’s death and what he was now doing. When the neighbor heard that his last name was Gould, she asked what his first name was.

“William,” Bill’s daughter replied.

“Billy Gould?” the neighbor asked surprised. “As a boy, did he go to school in Provo by any chance?”

The daughter nodded, and her neighbor, Millie, grinned. “Billy Gould and I were classmates in grade school.”

Bill’s daughter told him who her neighbor was, and Bill put her on his thank you list to contact. The rest, as they say, is history.

We Must Act for Ourselves

Sometimes, things do work out, but I think things can just about always work out, but I believe it is our choice. I don’t mean in a Pollyannish kind of way, or that the results will always be what we initially desired. Rather, we can choose how any situation or circumstance we find ourselves in will ultimately affect us. We can literally shape the results of all our experiences. I believe that’s what Lehi meant when he said, “…The Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. … They have become free forever, …to act for themselves and not to be acted upon” (See 2 Nephi 2:16,26 emphasis added).

Things can just about always work out, but I believe it is our choice.

For a long time, my friend Bill was in a funk because of his wife’s death. Who wouldn’t be? But he was being acted upon. He let his circumstance dictate his mood. It controlled him. He was not free. Then he chose to be grateful. Instead of looking at his wife’s death as an emotional and debilitating black hole, he made her life a symbol of his gratitude. A catalyst for him to act. And, as I said, the rest is history.

Bill’s experience and example has been an inspiration to me in my writing and in my life. While rejection, writer’s block, and a zillion other things can be gut-punches, I’m finding I can choose to turn the experience: To learn from it. To be a better writer. To be a better person. To make my experience a positive one for me. Granted, how it works out is not usually what I thought or hoped it would be. But because I choose to act, it becomes a blessing. Hopefully, it can for you too.

Steve Dunn Hanson

Steve Dunn Hanson is the author of several books, including inspirational and adventure fiction and self-help non-fiction, which have been traditionally published and self-published. In addition, he has had articles published in The Ensign, and writes poetry and hymns. He and his wife, Joyce currently live on a scenic hill in northeast Washington.

Visit Steve Dunn Hanson at https://stevedunnhanson.com/

Faith and Fear are Two Sides of the Same Coin: 3 Steps to Creating in Faith

August 12, 2021 By LDSPMA Leave a Comment

By Lauri Mackey

Both faith and fear are a belief in something unseen and yet to be experienced; why do we sometimes give fear more power than our faith?

While there are several analogies we can use to prove this point, let’s focus on sharing our creative talents with others as members of LDSPMA—in whatever form that may take. For me, it is a love of the microphone in inspiring others with my words and a love of stringing words together into a poem, a blog, a book, my journal, or simply penning a letter to a friend.

For you, that may also include creating music, editing someone else’s words in the form of a book or lyrics, or acting in front of the camera or catching the scene as the cameraman.

There is a certain amount of faith and fear that can be in constant battle with each other.

Whatever your chosen form of media from publishing to podcasting, I believe there is a certain amount of faith and fear that can be in constant battle with each other. Faith is the moving force to propel us forward with our work and fear keeps us frozen in place or worse, moving backward.

Let’s examine both for a minute, shall we? Where do faith and fear come from?

Fear

In 2 Timothy 1:7 it reads “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Let’s be clear that we are not talking about a “fear of God” which is actually not to be afraid of our loving Heavenly Father, but is akin to “awe, worship, and reverence” of God as outlined in the Bible Dictionary. I therefore suggest that fear is most definitely not of God, but of the adversary to stop us in our tracks of not sharing our talents and gifts with others for fear of rejection, shame, guilt, or simply making a mistake.

Faith

But faith, faith is beautiful! Geeking out a bit more in the Bible Dictionary, let me share a few passages found under the definition of faith.

Faith is to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true.
Faith is kindled by hearing the testimony of those who have faith.
Faith is an action word.
Faith is a principle of power.
Faith is a gift.
Faith must be nurtured and sought after.
Where there is true faith there are miracles, visions, dreams, healings, and all the gifts of God.

Just reading about faith makes me want to grab my pom-poms and cheer for you to rise up and be the best you can be in whatever your chosen field, but even I have that fear that can cause me to find a million excuses to not work on my book or blog today…the laundry needs to be done, I have errands to run, the dog ate my homework…

How then can we choose faith over fear on sometimes a daily if not hourly basis?

I’d like to suggest three powerful antidotes to your fear:

First, motivation is not step one.

Second, leveling up your support.

Third, cultivate a green thumb.

First: Motivation is Not Step One

If you are waiting for motivation to hit you between the eyes, you are putting your life and your work on hold unnecessarily. Motivation is a powerful tool, but you will never keep it going if you don’t take the first step.

The best example I can use is that of attending an awe-inspiring, motivating, rah-rah conference. It could have been an amazing podcast you listened to or a Time Out for Women event, or the latest LDSPMA conference. You go, you get inspired, you meet people in your field and chat with them, you take copious amounts of notes, and then rush home to do the work only to be waylaid yet again. What happened? You were completely fired up and then fizzled out after day one or week one. It’s because motivation is step two.

Step one is action. Motivation is step two. But there is a third step you absolutely must take in order for this to work. The third step is momentum.

You absolutely must take step one which then motivates you. You then create a cycle of action, motivation, action, motivation, action, motivation, which in turn creates momentum.

Have you ever tried to move a large object uphill? You need a running start, maybe an extra person or two or three, and then momentum is created to get your large object up the hill. Without it you stay at the bottom of the hill simply staring at your large object and the large hill and never try.

So who are those extra couple of people that helped you get the large object up the hill to create the momentum you needed? That brings us to our next item of support.

Second: Leveling Up Your Support

Jeffrey R Holland said it best: “Faith-filled life is not a stress-free life.”

I believe that we are always going to have some sort of stress in our life. One of my favorite sayings lately is that “I don’t love drama, but it loves me.” I’m over here minding my own business when KAPLOWEE!! A friend is in distress, relatives are bickering, a sister I minister to has gotten offended once again and wants to tell you all the reasons she will never come to another church activity ever again…you get the idea.

I understand that we can also create our own stress, but the point is that even if you’ve done everything you can to eliminate stress in your life, things happen. It’s life! It wasn’t meant to be smooth and if your life has been a cakewalk I truly want to visit with you and learn your secret as soon as possible.

Stress comes in so many forms—physical stress, emotional stress, work stress, school stress, family stress, relationship stress, and yes, even church stress. Stress is something that in main stream media has become the enemy. It is wrapped up in a big ol’ ball of yuckiness that attacks at any given moment. Sometimes it sneaks up on you ever so slowly and sometimes it just smacks you in the face…right between the eyes. Let’s break down stress a little further.

My motto has been “to clean a mess you have to make a mess.”

Have you ever cleaned out a closet, a drawer, or your file cabinet? You have to make a mess to clean a mess. It gets worse before it gets better, but downsize and get rid of you must. Admittedly, I’m an organizational freakazoid. Whenever I start feeling overwhelmed and completely stressed out, my first line of defense is to take inventory, evaluate what I can possibly let go, and then manage my feeling of being overwhelmed.…I clean out a closet.

Whatever is stressing you out, step back, take an inventory and see what you can let go. This is the first step in letting unnecessary stress go. Then step two would be to up-level your support to not only match your stress, but hopefully surpass it. Stress is ok. You heard me correctly. Stress is ok, but it absolutely must be tempered with support. If your scales are not balanced between your state of being overwhelmed and your support, you are stressed.

Sometimes the stress we are working with can be handled on our own through prayer, scripture study, talking it out with a friend or relative. But sometimes you need more than that. Anytime I’m feeling overwhelmed and I can’t seem to shake it I inevitably reach for one of two things—my therapist’s phone number, or someone specific to help me in whatever is the stressful problem. If it’s an emotional problem, yes, it’s the therapist, but if it’s a spiritual problem it may be my bishop. If it’s a problem with my book and I’ve hit a wall, I call my author friends.

Stress may be our constant companion at times, but I believe with the right type and level of support, faith will win over fear every time. Grab those one or two or three people to help you push that large object up that even larger hill.

Third: Cultivating a Green Thumb

Faith starts as a seed…but just like a seed it takes time and cultivation to grow into something worthwhile. What does that mean for us in practical terms? Practice!

Abraham Lincoln once said that “Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” Discipline is all about practicing. It’s about choosing again, again, and again to work toward what you want most instead of what you want right now.

What does [faith] mean for us in practical terms? Practice!

Think about this with exercise. From the professional football player or ballerina to the mom wanting to gain strength back so that she can keep up with her toddler, discipline is needed to take the time and required effort to exercise to achieve your goal.

Think about this with a musical instrument. When I interviewed Jenny Oaks Baker for my podcast, the thing that struck me most was the time commitment her parents had taught her growing up in playing the violin. She has lovingly passed on that trait to her children who now tour with her. Discipline is all about practicing.

Admittedly, I was born with more of a black thumb than a green one. I’ve killed more plants than I can count—so sad. But I kept at it. I learned how to choose plants that were more hardy and could survive my black thumb issues. I employed people who knew how to take care of plants and asked for help. I’m happy to report that while I may have not gotten all the way to having a green thumb, it’s definitely more brown than black.

Faith is the same. Perhaps you were born with a green thumb and I am so happy for you! But if you tend to lean more towards the black or brown thumb persuasion, there is hope! Don’t ever give up! Practice can and will support you in your journey towards more and more faith.

Decide now to do what President Nelson in the April 2020 general conference challenged us to do when he said, “The Lord loves effort.” Discipline takes effort, and sometimes that effort includes a lot of hard work, but with our Heavenly Father, the Savior Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost by our sides, we can try a little harder.

Faith and fear are two sides of the same coin: both are a belief in something unseen and yet to be experienced.

Your gifts and talents in your chosen field are needed. My hope is that you can find some motivation in these words and plan right now to take that action step that will create your own motivation, and then momentum in giving faith all of the glory and power it deserves and kicking fear to the curb.

Lauri Mackey, Positivity Crusader, is the proprietor of Lauri’s Lemonade Stand, a Positivity Podcast for Women and authoress of Positivity Happens, Creating Happiness and Finding Hope through The Art of Holiatry. Lauri is currently working on her next book and holding firesides throughout the Western United States with the goal of sharing hope, light, and love with others. Lauri’s unique background of struggle through experience has her shouting from the rooftops that if she can come through it, anyone can!

Links to Lauri’s work:

Facebook @LaurisLemonadeStand

Positivity Happens Book

LLS Podcast on Apple Podcasts

LLS Podcast on Spotify

Lauri’s Lemonade Stand Website/Blog