When Life Says NO: How to Recover from Major Unexpected Events

No one expects surgery to sneak up on them, much less a major abdominal surgery that leaves them incapacitated for a month, but that’s exactly what happened to me on March 3rd, 2026.

It started with mild abdominal pain that worsened over the course of a few days until I couldn’t sleep. I headed to the ER, where they found that my large intestine had twisted over itself. This condition would need immediate surgical correction, or the consequences would be severe.

Between health issues, my father’s passing, and job loss, my life has been filled with unexpected happenings of late. I didn’t wish for this kind of adventure, but this surgery taught me to slow down when life says no. My recovery took far longer than I anticipated, but once I’d been thrust into it, there wasn’t much I could do but rest, re-prioritize, and rejuvenate my soul and body as best I could.

Here are some suggestions that helped me in my recovery and might help you, too.

Prioritize What’s Important

One of the biggest challenges during my recovery was that suddenly, I couldn’t do everything I wanted to do. My surgery resulted in an eight-inch incision on my abdomen. Moving, much less standing and sitting, caused great pain. So I had to learn to say no. Working as a freelancer, I hate saying no to anyone. I want to work on any and all projects that come my way because I never know when things will come again.

But when your ability to function is limited, you must slow down. This means learning to let go of the things you can’t do. Whether that’s a project, a service opportunity, or an outing with a friend, just calmly explain your situation. Most people are very understanding, especially when unforeseen circumstances arise. Saying no can be painful, especially if you’re an overachiever like me. But it’s better to ration your energy than keep going until you burn out. Prioritize your recovery. Everything else can wait.

Take Time to Rest

As you rearrange your priorities, make sure to place rest at the top of the list. And I mean actual sleep: closing the eyelids and nodding off to dreamland. In the initial days after returning home, I slept more than I could have imagined. My surgery taught me rest is the best thing to help the body and brain reset and recover.

Even after you start to feel normal—or mostly normal—you still need to take breaks. I’m not in as much physical pain as before, but I’m still taking naps when needed. Major events take time to recover from, and that is totally normal. Don’t push yourself to jump back into regular activities before you’re ready.

Spend Time with Those You Love

As you get back on your feet, make sure to spend time with the people who matter most. For me, the biggest comfort of my hospital stay was the visitors who came to check on me. Even simple text messages comforted my weary soul.

Studies show that despite the technological advances we enjoy in our modern world, people are lonelier than ever. We need to spend time connecting with those we love because connection helps us feel less alone and boosts our mood, which helps us recover.

Make sure you don’t overdo it. If spending time with friends feels utterly exhausting, it’s okay to let them know and take a break. Do things at your own pace. Just don’t shut out the people who care for you, especially when you’re hurting or grieving. People need people, even if that’s only one visit a week.

Ask for Help

Along with spending time with those you love, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Neither my husband nor I like asking people for help—we were raised to be independent and self-sufficient. But after my surgery, we realized we couldn’t do everything on our own. My energy was entirely focused on feeling better, while my husband focused on work. I had to set aside my stubbornness and ask for what I needed. Friends brought us food and helped us clean our apartment.

Mosiah 2:18 reads “… when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God.” Give others a chance to serve God by serving you when you need it most.

Give Yourself Grace

Above all, be patient with yourself. Recovery doesn’t happen overnight, and especially after unexpected losses, the grief will last a while. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have everything back to normal as quickly as possible. Healing takes not only time, but also the Savior’s help. Give yourself grace by taking life one day at a time and giving some of that time to Him.

Life is meant to be full of twists and turns (sometimes literally), for it is through experience that we grow. Life might say no in a variety of ways, but there are things we can do to not only recover from the unexpected, but gain from it. It may not be pleasant or easy, but sometimes life saying no turns out to be life-changing; it helps us become who God always meant for us to be.

KaTrina Jackson

Author, Editor

KaTrina Jackson loves penguins, chocolate, and piano music, and spends much of each day trying to fit those loves in around her jobs as a freelance editor and a project manager for Eschler Editing. She graduated with a degree in editing and publishing from Brigham Young University. She’s a member of three different writing groups, attends and teaches at multiple writing conferences, has volunteered with LDSPMA since 2021, and recently published her first novel. When she’s not writing, editing, or reading, she can be found practicing yoga, teaching piano lessons, or watching Disney movies while working on a cross-stitch project. She and her husband live in Olathe, Kansas.