Faith & Mindset

By LDSPMA

I think the most wonderful thing a “successful someone” (be they writer, editor or filmmaker) can do is pass on their knowledge to those wanting to follow in their footsteps. If they can somehow help those following them to internalize their teachings and become what they were meant to be, well, that is not only wonderful but truly miraculous.

I think that’s why I started this series of articles. I wanted to see if I could introduce a few of you to someone who could help you become who you were meant to be—someone you could look up to, learn from, and possibly even connect with. What I didn’t realize is how so many of the people I interviewed on your behalf would help me. With that in mind, I would like to introduce you to Josi S. Kilpack.

Josi is wife to Lee (who manages a geriatric psych hospital in Salt Lake City), mother to four children—one of whom just returned from a mission—and, of course, a writer. Some of my favorite things I discovered about Josi during our interview are her love for watching the same movies over and over again, the way she is constantly challenging herself to be better writer, and her determination to use failures as an opportunity to learn how to succeed.

I hope some of the things Josi shares below will not only help you learn to succeed but be a miracle in your life:

• “I dream of having a typical writing day . . . but instead, I look at the day and schedule a chunk of time . . . when [the writing] is going well, the house is falling behind. When it is not, I’m playing catch up.”

• “[Writing well] is really about figuring out what works for you and trying to repeat it. I get a lot done when I have the ideas and the time at the same time, so I try really hard to brainstorm while I am doing other things and then write it down when I have the time.”

• “Every time I start a new [novel], I have this fear that it will be my last book. It drives me crazy. I can tell myself logically that I said it every other time and it hasn’t been true. [I tell myself] it isn’t true this time either and . . . just keep going.”

• “Tell yourself, ‘The only real competition is with myself.’”

• “Look for ways to challenge [your]self . . . to write a different type of story or character or to write from a different point of view. Constantly . . . look for ways to stretch. . . . That challenge just against myself keeps me going in the right direction.”

• “Get a few friends around you that tell you, ‘You are wonderful.’”

• “Every journey, every author is different.”

• “I am too stupid to be discouraged, but the friends I have made who understand who I am and what I love has been the greatest gift. Creat[e] that community and let . . . them support [you], and support them in their successes and failures.”

• “Opportunities come because you take advantage of other opportunities.”

• “Learn your craft. Make sure you are creating a good product. Learn about your industry. There is so much to know.”

• “Being excited about your book is natural. You wouldn’t put the time into it if you didn’t think you had something to offer, but a lot of time that excitement is what keeps you from doing what you need to do. Do yourself a favor and learn what makes a good book cover, learn to edit, and understand what the steps [to success] are. If you don’t, after you get those first few rejections you will be discouraged and stop.”

• “You [learn your craft at] conferences, through blogs, by meeting authors and talking to them, by learning from other people’s experiences. I don’t think you can be successful without those, but a lot of people skip that.”

• “Marketing is not easy, and most authors hate it. We are introverted and like to make up our own worlds not go out into the world we live in, but you have to do it these days. . . . If I am asked to do something, I say yes as often as possible. Articles, book signings, speaking at firesides . . . I say yes. Figure out what you are comfortable doing and then do it.”

• “Most of my story development comes from developing a character—what they want, what they are willing to do, and what they are not willing to do to get what they want. Then, putting them with another character and what they want is where a story comes from.”

• “People are fascinating. . . . When I get stuck, I go back to my characters. [I am usually stuck] because I have taken my character in a direction that is not authentic to who they are.”

• “If it is hard it doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong. It is just hard.”

• “I don’t really think balance exists . . . whenever I am looking for balance, I am beating myself up because there is no balance. I have been trying to balance this for fifteen years, and I have still never achieved it.”

• “What is the most important thing to you? . . . In any given moment it might be [different]. . .. For me [life] is a juggling act. What can I throw into the air so I can catch another something? And, honestly, sometimes it all drops. But if you are honest with everyone around you and with yourself, you can pick it all back up. There is a lot of guilt that goes along with this, but I look at it and say if I did it right the first time, I wouldn’t learn anything. . . . They are not eggs; they are bouncy balls. You still have to chase them. You still swear and get mad, but they don’t break, and you just get better at juggling as you go along. ”

• “It is good for my kids to see that I am passionate about something. It is good for them to see that I am a person and not just a mommy. It is good for them to see that while I love them to bits, [they are] not the entirety of my existence. I don’t want them to give up who they are individually because of the roles they take on.”

• “I have been doing this for a long time. I have raised my kids through it, and life has gone on along with my writing, but it is mostly my story that has been written through all of it. My writing was the vehicle that helped me grow. It has written my story. I would love people to be mindful that their [own] story is being written while they are writing.”

By Lessa Harding

Once again, I find myself wishing I could take a poll when introducing the expert of the month. I would love to hear who your favorite authors are and why. I would love to hear whom you look up to, who your heroes are, and how you would react if you met one of them.

A few months ago, a friend recounted the first time she met her favorite author. My friend talked about going weak in the knees, not being able to form coherent thoughts, and stumbling over her words as she attempted to ask the author questions. I giggled as my friend said she had a “writer’s crush” on the author.

I have to admit that this month’s article was extremely difficult for me to write because of my writer’s crush on our expert. Liz Adair is one of my favorite authors, and I admire the depth that her characters have, the wit and humor they display, and her ability to write a story that both entertains and captivates. I also admire her as a person.

The first time I met Liz, I experienced what other aspiring authors experience when they’re lucky enough to meet Liz: the overwhelming feeling that I could do anything I wanted to do. One of the writers she has mentored described the experience by saying that Liz “helped me see that I have something to offer and encouraged me to grow beyond myself.” Another confided that Liz “made me feel like a real writer for the first time ever.” And another said, “She breathed into me a belief that I could write books.”

Liz has written 10 novels and 3 novellas, has received the Whitney Outstanding Achievement Award for mentoring writers, has owned and operated a bakery, and has helped found more writers’ groups and conferences than I can count, including the American Night Writers Association’s Northwest Writers Retreat and the Kanab Writers Conference. But the thing I admire the most is the effect she has had on the lives of people she has met along the way, including her husband of 58 years and her 7 children. I love this description of Liz given by someone who has known her for over 10 years: “Liz . . .  becomes your true friend and just loves you. If she can share something she’s learned along the way, she does. She rarely asks for anything in return, [but] those who walk . . . the path with her . . . are forever changed. Liz makes you want to be a better person and to achieve great things by just being Liz.”

As you read the following insights she shared for this article, I hope some of the encouragement and confidence Liz exudes will leap off the paper and help you walk your own path.

• You don’t need a rigid writing schedule. “I have no typical day of writing. I have things that have to get done, things that may get done, and writing. I try to write after doing the things that have to get done. I’m more of a mosey-along writer. I stop and smell a lot of roses.”
• Associate with other writers. Her “tip for those trying to publish for the first time [is to] hang out with writers.”
• Need ideas about writing rituals? Here’s Liz’s: “[My] process is to sit down “process is to sit down with a pencil and notebook and block out the plot points in each chapter. Then I sit at the computer and write about a half a page about each chapter. After that, I begin the first draft and grind it out to the end.”
• “I’ve learned a lot about three-dimensional villains from watching Turkish films.”
• If you want to publish but haven’t yet, “start learning the craft now. You’ll be so much further ahead when the barriers that are keeping you from doing it are no longer there.”
• On writer’s block: “I think fallow times are useful in the creative process. When I’m ready to write again, I’ll know it. That’s why self-publishing suits me so much better than working with a traditional publisher. I don’t have to force anything.”
• On rejection: “I think time and perspective are the only things that help.”
• “Let others read and critique [your] writing. I mean, hard critiques. I belong to a critique group that has met for two hours a week for a dozen years now, and we pull no punches. It has made me a much better writer than if they loved everything I sent to them.”
• Her personal motto: “‘Pull up your socks.’ I had that as a personal motto long before compression stockings became a part of my daily routine.”
• “Writing is its own reward.”
• “Write! Write! Write!”

By Lessa Harding

We all have moments that change our lives. For many of us, those moments are perfectly ordinary, yet somehow they shape the people we become. It could be a random exchange with a stranger on the street, an innocent comment from a child, or a sunrise after a long night. For me, it was a conversation I had with my stake president when I was 16 years old. We talked after a fireside, and while I can’t remember what the fireside was about or which building’s Relief Society room we were in, I can tell you that he asked me what I wanted to do with my life. As the opinionated daughter of a successful attorney, I boldly declared my resolution to pursue a career in law, changing the world one amicus brief at a time and spending any extra time traveling the world.

My stake president smiled broadly and somehow managed to turn the conversation to family. He asked if I wanted one. My answer was a very blunt no. Again, the stake president smiled, and then he told me about his wife and her life as a mother who was also attending school in the evenings. I later met his wife and was amazed to come to know a woman besides my own mother who loved being a mother and still pursued other dreams. All of a sudden, it wasn’t just my mom telling me that life doesn’t end when you have children. My stake president and his wife were telling me the same thing. The conversation with my stake president was my first introduction to Marianna Richardson, and it stuck with me as I became friends with her daughters, went to prom with her son, and babysat her grandkids. She’s one of the many women who showed me how important and fulfilling family is. The lesson she taught me is one of the reasons that made interviewing Marianna so much fun!

Marianna is married to Steve Richardson. She’s the mother of 12 children and author/coauthor of five books, including a fictionalized story from her family’s history, a book about C. S. Lewis, and a compilation of lessons her nine daughters learned while growing up with each other. Marianna is also an adjunct professor at BYU, where she teaches advanced writing for business and is the chief editor for the Marriott Student Review. She has a master’s degree from John’s Hopkins University and an doctorate degree from Seattle Pacific University. She’s working on her MBA and will be attending law school at BYU in the fall.

My favorite quote from Marianna during our interview is no surprise given our history. When I asked her how she balanced having a family and a career, she said: “The key is time. I didn’t do it all at once. I was an at-home mom for 40 years… The biggest frustration I see with a lot of women is they [think they] have to do it all now. . . . You don’t.”

I hope the other advice Marianna shared helps you as much as her advice has helped me!

• “[You] have to go back to the basics of writing before [you] can talk about the beauty of language. If you don’t know the basics, you can’t do the other stuff.”
• “I do feel that if you really want to become a good writer, you don’t need to just read, but read out loud so you are not only reading it but hearing it. Read out loud, have those experiences in language, . . . listen to the cadence. There is a difference.”
• Self-publishing requires self-promotion. “You really do need to promote as a part-time job.”
• “I think in order for a writer to become successful, you . . . need to stick with one genre. That is one of the business problems I have had. I like to write about too many different things. . . . You can’t have a following if you don’t stick with one genre.”
• “Experiential learning is how you really learn.”
• “It’s not that most people are not good writers; they just don’t understand the positive writing process. Writing . . . shouldn’t be a lonely experience. Yes, you write, but then you talk to a friend about it and have them read it and discuss how to make it better. . . . Don’t write the night before it’s due. If that is how you write, no wonder you hate it . . . . [In a] real writing process, you write it, you leave it, . . . you have other people read it and give you feedback, then you write it again. . . . [After that,] you have other people read it and do it again.”
• “I feel strongly and firmly that every woman has to have their own outlet, something that means something to them, some sort of intellectual stimulation. Quilting, creating works of art, or cooking. For me, it was education.”
• “[Some] women who have stayed home with their children . . . come out the other end [and] think they are done. I feel like now is the time to have your career. You don’t have to say ‘I am too old’ [or] ‘I can’t.’ I think that is totally wrong. If you want to get that graduate degree, go get it. . . . Don’t think you’re done at 60.”
• “Keep trying. Every great writer has the huge stack of rejection letters. But I think that is just a good understanding of life. I don’t care what you want to do or what you want to be; you need to learn how to handle rejection. Have that long-term view. . . . You can’t let those things get you down.”
• “Be patient. It is so easy to get frustrated. . . . It might take 10–20 years, and people don’t want to hear that. Be patient.”
• Personal motto: “Wahoo, the gospel is true!”