LDSPMA

Empowering Latter-day Saints to spread light and truth by connecting them at the intersection of faith, creativity, and professional skill

Faith & Mindset

Mentoring Is a Relationship

By Leave a Comment

By Barry Rellaford

Reflect on a time in your life when someone believed in you, saw something important that you didn’t see in yourself, or gave you an opportunity to learn and contribute. Who comes to mind?

Perhaps it was a teacher. A family member. Someone you worked with. A Church leader or adviser. A sports coach, music teacher, or theater director. Maybe it was a leader of a writing workshop. Perhaps it was someone you interacted with for only a moment.

I’ve asked people around the world to engage in this simple reflection, and I’m constantly inspired and humbled by their answers.

The person you’ve thought of likely served as a mentor for you—someone who helped you develop your potential, especially professionally.

Mentoring is more than an activity; it’s a relationship. While the focus is on the performer’s development, mentoring brings benefits to the mentor as well. The dividends of mentoring relationships are much the same as in other high-trust relationships: increased confidence, improved results, greater positive energy, and true joy.

One of the greatest mentors in my professional life was Chriss Mecham, my supervisor in my first corporate job. She took a risk to hire me (I didn’t have the two years of corporate management development experience CompuServe was looking for) and rapidly gave me opportunities to understand and work toward achieving my potential.

But Chriss could be tough.

At one point, I was being a maverick, drawing attention and credit to myself. In a very direct and caring way, she helped me see that the work I was doing depended on an entire team. And instead of reining me in, she opened the gates, continued to extend trust, and gave me more opportunities to grow. I love and appreciate her for the investment she made in me, and we’re still close friends 30+ years later.

Belonging to a professional organization like LDSPMA provides many opportunities to mentor and be mentored. “Let’s take a look at some of the ways to find or be a mentor.”

How Do I Find a Mentor?

To find a mentor, start by thinking of people in your field whom you admire. Seek them out in person, online, or by phone. See if they would be willing to occasionally meet or otherwise talk with you to help you progress in your career.

Another way to find a mentor is to come to LDSPMA’s annual conference. It’s an unparalleled opportunity to interact with industry luminaries in an intimate setting. Meet speakers and panelists before and after their sessions. Connect with them online and through what they’ve published.

Also join LinkedIn, and follow thought leaders. Comment on their blog posts and social media pages. If you’re interested in having someone you admire serve as your mentor, then ask. It’s that simple. Meeting the potential mentor in person and establishing a meaningful relationship will facilitate this possibility.

For example, Richard Leider is one of the luminaries in the field of purposeful work and living and is the author of several bestselling books, including The Power of Purpose. I traveled to the San Francisco Bay area to attend a workshop he was leading, and I took the initiative to help him set up for the day and to visit with him one-on-one. That initial meeting grew into the opportunity to spend three weeks together in Tanzania and to lead workshops together. Most successful people are generous in paying forward the investment their mentors made in them.

With so many new publishing modalities, you may find that your mentor is younger than you—and more experienced! Don’t be embarrassed to learn from them, and see how you can help them in return.

What If I Want to Mentor?

Reflect on the person who extended trust to you, and do the same as they did—for the same reasons. Care about people. Care about your profession. Invest your energy and time in helping others by providing mentoring.

In a professional association, like LDSPMA, one of the greatest benefits of membership is mentoring relationships. If you’re an experienced editor, publisher, writer, filmmaker, composer, podcaster, or other publishing/media professional, look for opportunities to share career and life lessons and help shorten the learning curve of a rookie in the field.

Take on leadership roles in professional circles. Share lessons learned in talks, articles, LinkedIn posts, and other online avenues.

Conclusion

“I am a part of all that I have met,” wrote Tennyson in Ulysses. I seek to be the best part of all whom I’ve met. I look forward to meeting you at an LDSPMA event or online. Please let me know how I can help you in your journey of sharing light!

Advice from the Experts: Liz Adair (Wife, Mother, Mentor, Author)

By Leave a Comment

By Lessa Harding

Once again, I find myself wishing I could take a poll when introducing the expert of the month. I would love to hear who your favorite authors are and why. I would love to hear whom you look up to, who your heroes are, and how you would react if you met one of them.

A few months ago, a friend recounted the first time she met her favorite author. My friend talked about going weak in the knees, not being able to form coherent thoughts, and stumbling over her words as she attempted to ask the author questions. I giggled as my friend said she had a “writer’s crush” on the author.

I have to admit that this month’s article was extremely difficult for me to write because of my writer’s crush on our expert. Liz Adair is one of my favorite authors, and I admire the depth that her characters have, the wit and humor they display, and her ability to write a story that both entertains and captivates. I also admire her as a person.

The first time I met Liz, I experienced what other aspiring authors experience when they’re lucky enough to meet Liz: the overwhelming feeling that I could do anything I wanted to do. One of the writers she has mentored described the experience by saying that Liz “helped me see that I have something to offer and encouraged me to grow beyond myself.” Another confided that Liz “made me feel like a real writer for the first time ever.” And another said, “She breathed into me a belief that I could write books.”

Liz has written 10 novels and 3 novellas, has received the Whitney Outstanding Achievement Award for mentoring writers, has owned and operated a bakery, and has helped found more writers’ groups and conferences than I can count, including the American Night Writers Association’s Northwest Writers Retreat and the Kanab Writers Conference. But the thing I admire the most is the effect she has had on the lives of people she has met along the way, including her husband of 58 years and her 7 children. I love this description of Liz given by someone who has known her for over 10 years: “Liz . . .  becomes your true friend and just loves you. If she can share something she’s learned along the way, she does. She rarely asks for anything in return, [but] those who walk . . . the path with her . . . are forever changed. Liz makes you want to be a better person and to achieve great things by just being Liz.”

As you read the following insights she shared for this article, I hope some of the encouragement and confidence Liz exudes will leap off the paper and help you walk your own path.

  • You don’t need a rigid writing schedule. “I have no typical day of writing. I have things that have to get done, things that may get done, and writing. I try to write after doing the things that have to get done. I’m more of a mosey-along writer. I stop and smell a lot of roses.”
  • Associate with other writers. Her “tip for those trying to publish for the first time [is to] hang out with writers.”
  • Need ideas about writing rituals? Here’s Liz’s: “[My] process is to sit down “process is to sit down with a pencil and notebook and block out the plot points in each chapter. Then I sit at the computer and write about a half a page about each chapter. After that, I begin the first draft and grind it out to the end.”
  • “I’ve learned a lot about three-dimensional villains from watching Turkish films.”
  • If you want to publish but haven’t yet, “start learning the craft now. You’ll be so much further ahead when the barriers that are keeping you from doing it are no longer there.”
  • On writer’s block: “I think fallow times are useful in the creative process. When I’m ready to write again, I’ll know it. That’s why self-publishing suits me so much better than working with a traditional publisher. I don’t have to force anything.”
  • On rejection: “I think time and perspective are the only things that help.”
  • “Let others read and critique [your] writing. I mean, hard critiques. I belong to a critique group that has met for two hours a week for a dozen years now, and we pull no punches. It has made me a much better writer than if they loved everything I sent to them.”
  • Her personal motto: “‘Pull up your socks.’ I had that as a personal motto long before compression stockings became a part of my daily routine.”
  • “Writing is its own reward.”
  • “Write! Write! Write!”

Advice from the Experts: Steve Piersanti (Former Publishing CEO, Founder of LDSPMA, Acquisitions Editor)

By 1 Comment

By Lessa Harding

In high school I had a homeroom-type class that contained a mix of students from every grade. There were a number of classic high school characters, as well as some who broke all the molds. There was the kind, handsome senior who’d fit in any Hallmark movie. There was the beauty queen who thought she was better than everyone else. There was the Christian girl who stood up to every attack on her beliefs. There was a soccer star, a basketball champion, a physics wiz, and a math nerd (that last one helped me solve homework problems using dry erase markers on the window). And there was the guy everyone wanted to be. He had a successful business, good grades, and a confidence that somehow removed him from the social hierarchy that is high school. We all knew he’d succeed at whatever he did, and we all looked up to him for it. Recently, my thoughts turned back to him. The reason? I was interviewing Steve Piersanti.

I know nothing about Steve’s high school experience, but I have to admit I felt like I was a freshman again looking up to that most-likely-to-succeed senior in my advisory class. Steve is the kind of guy who gets back up every time he gets knocked down, who accomplishes everything he puts his mind to, and who then helps others do the same. I was amazed to learn that he not only founded LDSPMA but also founded and edited a student scholarly journal while attending BYU, graduated with highest honors, began his career as an advertising copywriter at Jossey-Bass Publishers, and worked his way up to the position of president at the same company. Later, he founded Berrett-Koehler Publishers and served as CEO while also working as an acquisitions editor. He somehow also found time to play basketball, lead an annual gardening workshop, prioritize family functions, and go backpacking. The best thing about him, though, is that unlike the senior in my advisory class, Steve is approachable, is kind, gives encouragement, offers praise when it’s due, and is willing to help others who want to follow in his footsteps. Let me share some of his advice for traveling along the path to success:

  • “Most authors are primarily focused on how their books are written. That is important, but what is equally important is the marketing of your book.”
  • “The number of books being published annually in the US has tripled in 12 years, while total book sales have not grown.[1] . . . The only way publishers have kept afloat is by shifting more and more of the marketing to the authors. An author today must come to their publisher with a marketing plan…. What publishers look for now is the author’s so called platform. When you submit a proposal to the publisher, you need to include a strong section about what you are willing to do to help market your book.”
  • “If you want to get up to speed on how to get your book published, here is how you get started:
    • Go to the annual LDSPMA conference, and learn about how to market books.
    • Learn what successful authors do, and do it yourself.
    • Figure out what your potential assets are (e.g., blogging, social media, connecting with audiences, and speaking).
    • Get involved with groups and associations in your genre.
    • Then think about publishing your book.
  • “You have to pick the right publisher to pitch your book to. Most have a particular area they are interested in. You need to do upfront research about the publishers you would like to pitch to.”
  • “When a publisher asks, ‘What are the competing works,’ don’t say, ‘It has no competition’ or ‘My book is unlike any other.’ Those kinds of statements work against you.”
  • “Everyone starts at the bottom and works their way up. Figure out what you want to do, and actually start going after it instead of going on your current inertia.”
  • “Everyone has many setbacks. I suppose [the best response] is going back and revisiting what you are really trying to accomplish. What really matters and what doesn’t matter? . . . [After a failure] you have to come up with a new game plan and come at it with a new perspective.”
  • “Some things are going to take decades. You just have to accept that. You can keep going!”
  • On how to balance family and work: “Family commitments that I make, I always came through on them. If I said I was going to be somewhere, I did it. Don’t let something ‘come up.’”
  • “Don’t work on Sunday. That is a day for family and church. Same thing with Family Home Evening. . . . Build [your schedule] around [those important family obligations].”

[1] See the article titled “The 10 Awful Truths about Publishing,” https://www.bkconnection.com/the-10-awful-truths-about-book-publishing.

Advice from the Experts: Ann Acton (Author, Day Care Owner, Wife, Mother)

By Leave a Comment

By Lessa Harding

If you run a Google search on “how to be a good or successful writer,” you get suggestions like “read,” “write every day,” and “write what you know.” A search for the “characteristics and strengths every writer needs” provides a list of traits that include discipline, imagination, a good grasp of grammar, and a love of words. I recently met a writer who embodies these characteristics. It’s Ann Acton, author of The Miracle Maker and The Vanishing (the latter is set for release this September).

When I met with Ann, I asked her what she thinks her greatest strengths or talents are. I expected her to say something similar to what came up in the Google search results, and while Ann is indeed disciplined, imaginative, and a lover of words, she believes her greatest talent is that she was able to rewrite the poem ’Twas the Night before Christmas. I have to admit to laughing out loud at her answer. Her response was unexpected, but it really set the tone for the whole interview. In fact, rather than calling it an interview, I would prefer to call it a not-coffee date with a soon-to-be best friend.

Over the course of our not-coffee date, I began to see why Ann’s self-identified talent is truly her greatest strength. Ann is real, is down to earth, loves to laugh, and has learned the hard way how to deal with difficult situations. She rewrites her own story every day and makes it fit her world. When her children struggled with learning, she home-schooled them. And when her husband got sick, she turned to writing—even when it required waking up at 5:00 a.m. This difficult time in her life led to her writing The Miracle Maker, which was published by Covenant Communications.

Ann told me that she did not originally want to be a writer—it wasn’t in her story. She hadn’t even entertained the idea until she completed a spur-of-the-moment rendition of ’Twas the Night before Christmas and her husband said, “You know that not everyone can do that, right? I think you are a writer.” A little further down the road, her mentor, Liz Adair, gave her the final push. Ann said, “[Liz] told me I was a writer, and then I was one.” Sometimes it just takes a few gentle nudges for us to recognize our potential. And now for some advice from Ann:

  • “It has been the best thing for my writing—failing and then learning to not look at it as failing.”
  • “Sit down and write every day. Write consistently. It doesn’t have to be good, because that is what the delete key is for.”
  • “Writing is truly just therapy, so just pour it into your writing.”
  • “I think our strength [as women] comes from [our] softness.”
  • In speaking of the hard things we go through in life: “Someday, all these things will just be fodder for writing. I [didn’t think] anything good could come out of this part of my life, but now I can see it.”
  • “Because you are a writer, people will connect with you. People will come up to you and just start spilling their guts. These are dreams people have to be writers, and it is so cool to be a part of that.”
  • “The hardest part [about being a writer] is constantly failing. Writing is hard. It is subjective, [and] people are not all nice. A lot of writers say it is hard because of the solitude, but not for me. For me it is the constant reading something wonderful and going, ‘Will I ever be that good?’ Having to change that thinking process from ‘I am not good enough’ never goes away, . . . but I can get better. Whatever I put out today is not me. I can become better even if this [work] is a failure.”
  • “People are so afraid someone is going to tell them they are really not a writer. You don’t need permission. Be gentle with yourself. Enjoy the process, because it is going to be a process.”
  • “Comparing yourself only causes resentment. Someone else’s success has no effect on yours. Every writer struggles with something, and no journey is easy.”
  • “Support your friends because their success has no bearing on you.”
  • “Don’t let anyone have the power to take away your dreams. If there is something you want, why should you let anyone take that away from you?”
  • “There are times and seasons. You are never going to have extra time, [because] you are going to fill it with something. If you want to be a writer, you have to fill it with writing.”
  • “Just do something. Even reading a book is working on your writing.”

Ann also shared a tip from Liz:

  • “Every single writer is working on something. Grammar is the easiest thing to be working on because it can be taught.”

I hope some of this advice Ann shared will give you the gentle nudge you might need to take your own story in a new direction.

Advice from the Experts: Marianna Richardson (Author, Professor, Wife, Mother)

By Leave a Comment

By Lessa Harding

We all have moments that change our lives. For many of us, those moments are perfectly ordinary, yet somehow they shape the people we become. It could be a random exchange with a stranger on the street, an innocent comment from a child, or a sunrise after a long night. For me, it was a conversation I had with my stake president when I was 16 years old. We talked after a fireside, and while I can’t remember what the fireside was about or which building’s Relief Society room we were in, I can tell you that he asked me what I wanted to do with my life. As the opinionated daughter of a successful attorney, I boldly declared my resolution to pursue a career in law, changing the world one amicus brief at a time and spending any extra time traveling the world.

My stake president smiled broadly and somehow managed to turn the conversation to family. He asked if I wanted one. My answer was a very blunt no. Again, the stake president smiled, and then he told me about his wife and her life as a mother who was also attending school in the evenings. I later met his wife and was amazed to come to know a woman besides my own mother who loved being a mother and still pursued other dreams. All of a sudden, it wasn’t just my mom telling me that life doesn’t end when you have children. My stake president and his wife were telling me the same thing. The conversation with my stake president was my first introduction to Marianna Richardson, and it stuck with me as I became friends with her daughters, went to prom with her son, and babysat her grandkids. She’s one of the many women who showed me how important and fulfilling family is. The lesson she taught me is one of the reasons that made interviewing Marianna so much fun!

Marianna is married to Steve Richardson. She’s the mother of 12 children and author/coauthor of five books, including a fictionalized story from her family’s history, a book about C. S. Lewis, and a compilation of lessons her nine daughters learned while growing up with each other. Marianna is also an adjunct professor at BYU, where she teaches advanced writing for business and is the chief editor for the Marriott Student Review. She has a master’s degree from John’s Hopkins University and an doctorate degree from Seattle Pacific University. She’s working on her MBA and will be attending law school at BYU in the fall.

My favorite quote from Marianna during our interview is no surprise given our history. When I asked her how she balanced having a family and a career, she said: “The key is time. I didn’t do it all at once. I was an at-home mom for 40 years… The biggest frustration I see with a lot of women is they [think they] have to do it all now. . . . You don’t.”

I hope the other advice Marianna shared helps you as much as her advice has helped me!

  • “[You] have to go back to the basics of writing before [you] can talk about the beauty of language. If you don’t know the basics, you can’t do the other stuff.”
  • “I do feel that if you really want to become a good writer, you don’t need to just read, but read out loud so you are not only reading it but hearing it. Read out loud, have those experiences in language, . . . listen to the cadence. There is a difference.”
  • Self-publishing requires self-promotion. “You really do need to promote as a part-time job.”
  • “I think in order for a writer to become successful, you . . . need to stick with one genre. That is one of the business problems I have had. I like to write about too many different things. . . . You can’t have a following if you don’t stick with one genre.”
  • “Experiential learning is how you really learn.”
  • “It’s not that most people are not good writers; they just don’t understand the positive writing process. Writing . . . shouldn’t be a lonely experience. Yes, you write, but then you talk to a friend about it and have them read it and discuss how to make it better. . . . Don’t write the night before it’s due. If that is how you write, no wonder you hate it . . . . [In a] real writing process, you write it, you leave it, . . . you have other people read it and give you feedback, then you write it again. . . . [After that,] you have other people read it and do it again.”
  • “I feel strongly and firmly that every woman has to have their own outlet, something that means something to them, some sort of intellectual stimulation. Quilting, creating works of art, or cooking. For me, it was education.”
  • “[Some] women who have stayed home with their children . . . come out the other end [and] think they are done. I feel like now is the time to have your career. You don’t have to say ‘I am too old’ [or] ‘I can’t.’ I think that is totally wrong. If you want to get that graduate degree, go get it. . . . Don’t think you’re done at 60.”
  • “Keep trying. Every great writer has the huge stack of rejection letters. But I think that is just a good understanding of life. I don’t care what you want to do or what you want to be; you need to learn how to handle rejection. Have that long-term view. . . . You can’t let those things get you down.”
  • “Be patient. It is so easy to get frustrated. . . . It might take 10–20 years, and people don’t want to hear that. Be patient.”
  • Personal motto: “Wahoo, the gospel is true!”

Advice from the Experts: Terry Deighton (Author, Wife, Mother)

By Leave a Comment

By Lessa Harding

One thing few people know about me is that I have pointed ears. I remember coming home from school crying because the kids in my class teased me about my ears. When I started reading fantasy novels and role playing with my daddy as a teenager, I thought my pointed ears were cool. On occasion, I even used dark eyeshadow to accentuate the pointiness and I styled my hair to draw attention to my ears. Who am I kidding? I did that through my 20s.

I secretly loved my ears, even when I was teased about them as a kid. I was certain I was really an elf princess with auburn hair to match the color of the Redwoods and with green eyes to match the leaves. My ears made me the heroine in many an imaginative story. I was drawn back into this reverie about my ears as I got to know author Terry Deighton.

After speaking with Terry, I can’t help but wonder how many of us have envisioned ourselves as the courageous hero who saves the day and changes the world. The thing about a courageous hero, though, is you can’t be one unless there is conflict or fear that has to be overcome. WWI hero Eddie Rickenbacker said that “courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared.”

Terry is a quiet hero who loves reading, crafting, watching television, and talking with her family. Her friend Ann Acton, author of The Miracle Maker, describes Terry as a “grammar goddess,” but Terry describes herself as an introvert who “always wanted to write books that would affect readers the way [she] has been affected by [her own] reading.” Terry also fully admits to having to work to develop the thick skin—and, I would add, the courage—required to send her work into the wide world of publishing. Terry told me that “the hardest thing I’ve had to learn is not to be hurt by criticism. It’s important to let it sit until it doesn’t hurt anymore and then look at it objectively and see how you can revise your writing to make it better.”

Terry is the author of three Christmas novellas and a five-book middle-grade series called Tweaks. Her blog describes her series as having “a dash of science, a splash of humor, and a generous portion of character development.” Having read the books, I fully agree with that description and the 4-star and higher ratings her books have received on Goodreads. I’m pretty sure Terry is one of those amazing heroes who “is doing what [she] is afraid to do.” I hope her advice helps you find the courage you need to be a hero too:

  • “Try to get an agent, but if that doesn’t happen in a reasonable amount of time, give self-publishing a try. You don’t have to choose one or the other.”
  • You may wish you could just “write your books, publish them, and send them out on their own. Unfortunately, they just sit if you do that. . . . All authors have to do a lot of marketing, so understanding social media and setting up Amazon ads is important.”
  • “Write when and where inspiration strikes.”
  • In terms of balancing family and work, “you have to decide what is most important and organize your time according to those priorities. Give up what isn’t important so you have time for both family and writing.”
  • “Don’t set arbitrary deadlines for yourself, and don’t compare your output to anyone else’s.”
  • “Use rejection to fuel the desire to write better, to learn the craft, to find your niche.”
  • “Above all, don’t give up. [Giving up] won’t make you happy. If you are a writer, you have to write. Write for yourself, and publish when it seems right.”

Advice from the Experts: Suzy Bills (Editor, BYU Professor, Former LDSPMA President)

By 1 Comment

By Lessa Harding

Do you remember the book Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery? One of the themes of that book (and the following books) is Anne’s search for kindred spirits. You know . . . other people who understand what you are going through and who help and love you as you go through it? Anne finds kindred spirits in girls her age, boys who tease her, resentful teachers, feisty old women, and young students who need her mentoring. She finds them in places she expects to and places she never thinks she will. In fact, at one point she says, “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” In interviewing Suzy Bills, I found a kindred spirit.

Suzy is determined, lively, and self-motivated. She is dedicated to her students, her family, and her business. She enjoys running, dancing, and anything that takes her outside. But the thing that impresses me most about Suzy is her desire to help those around her succeed. Suzy says the only thing she loves more than owning her own editing and writing business is teaching at BYU because it is “neat to be able to help mentor those who want to edit.” She enjoys “paying it forward, seeing [students] grow, and watching them succeed.”

In addition to mentoring others, teaching classes, and running her own business, Suzy is president of LDSPMA and head of the Faculty Publishing Service at BYU. Suzy admits that juggling everything is a challenge: “[I] always feel like there is chaos in my head. . . .Trying to figure out how to take care of it all” is part of the job.

Of course, Suzy’s not the only one with diverse and demanding responsibilities. So how do we keep working toward reaching our goals despite the busyness of life? Suzy mentioned a number of ways she keeps her life moving forward, including by picking herself up after making mistakes and by reciting her mottos: “you can do hard things” and “pain is temporary—hard work brings fulfillment.” To help us do the same, Suzy shared the following advice:

    • “You have to be your biggest advocate. Things are not going to happen if you just wait around and hope that your manager will give you a promotion or sit around and hope that people will hire you. . . .You have to seek out the opportunities. When you do that, . . . you are not at the mercy of what other people offer.”
    • “You can’t be perfect. . . . Editors tend to be perfectionists, and in some ways we are expected to be perfect because we are expected to catch other people’s mistakes. . . . But we can’t be [perfect]. It is hard sometimes to get over the mistakes . . . [but] it’s okay to make [them]. Do the best you can. Acknowledge [the mistakes], and do what you can to make them right. Take responsibility, but don’t let them derail you.”
    • “The way to help people is to be encouraging and have a positive perspective.”
    • When you are trying to overcome a mistake or setback, Suzy recommends that you “look back and see what you can do to avoid it in the future. Self-reflection . . . [is key] to learning from [mistakes]. . . . We often learn more from our mistakes than from what we do right.”
    • “Have an action plan. . . . The action plan helps you move forward. Even if it doesn’t work, you can keep trying and revising the plan.”
  • “Be okay with where you are right now. Just have your plan for how you are going to keep improving. . . . It’s okay [to] start where you are. Don’t let where you are right now keep you from getting to where you want to be.”

I hope this advice helps the rest of you kindred spirits out there as you work to achieve your goals! All the best!

Advice from the Experts: Denise Farnsworth (Corporate Attorney, Author, Wife, Mother)

By Leave a Comment

By Lessa Harding

Okay, full disclosure here. Denise is my mother. When I was growing up, I called her Super Mom. I’ve always been in awe of her abilities, her career, her relationship with my daddy (I am sure it is material for a Hallmark movie), and her dedication to doing what the Lord asks of her. Interviewing her was a privilege.

On paper, Denise is a successful corporate attorney who works for Facebook Ireland. She specializes in privacy, data protection and cyber security, technology, international business, and intellectual property law. She also serves in the Church and mentors young professionals in many stages of their careers. In February, she will fulfill her life-long dream of becoming a published author. But she is so much more than her LinkedIn profile. She is someone who has had trial after trial placed upon her shoulders and yet still stands tall. She is someone who is considered an expert in her field, and yet she always finds value in the advice and council that others give her. She is someone who takes baby steps toward her dreams and helps others to do the same. And she is someone who has learned the importance of being deliberate in the pursuit of those dreams. If anyone can provide a little guidance, inspiration, and direction as we create our vision for the coming year, it is her.

During the interview, Denise shared many things about her life and how she came to be who she is today. I captured it all in the recording I made, and I wish I could share every minute! But you will have to make do with a few highlights.

The first experience that caught my attention was the story of how Denise met the renowned physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer. She was introduced to him by her father, a chemist by trade. Mr. Oppenheimer took her on his knee and played with her. He was a kind old man with a twinkle and fire in his eyes that Denise has remembered every day since. Everything she has done has been to keep that same fire burning in herself and to show others, especially her children, what that fire and determination can do.

She had an experience as a young mother that I’ve thought a lot about since the interview. She described a conversation she had with her boss after returning to work following the birth of her fourth child. Her boss could tell she did not want to be there and asked her why she was. Her response? “I need to be.” His advice changed her life and set the tone for the rest of her career. He said, “The best thing you can do for your children is show them that no matter the circumstances of your life, you can make the best out of it. You can do your best, be your best, pursue your dreams, and be happy along the way.”

Denise shared many additional insights and lessons she has learned over the years. She also offered suggestions on how we can achieve our dreams:

  • “Have your goals in mind. Don’t let your career take you where you don’t intend to go.”
  • “When [you are] with someone, [be] with them.” Don’t pull out your cell phone, turn on the TV, or open your laptop. Instead, focus on the person, really listen to them, and let that person know how important they are.
  • “Anyone can start down the road to attaining their dreams if they define their dreams. If it is a someday thing . . . you probably won’t get anywhere. . . . You need to start. . . . [First] create a picture in your head. [Then] keep going back to the dream and refining it. Remember that this is a journey. [Just] start taking baby steps.”
  • “If you prioritize, if you make sure you know what is most important to you and do those things first, the rest will follow. Remember, you have a whole life time to fit it all in.”
  • “Don’t let life take you on random detours. Don’t just passively watch life go by. There are so many amazing things to do in this world, and if you will be deliberate and remember what is most important, you can accomplish anything.”