Faith & Mindset

By Lessa Harding

If you run a Google search on “how to be a good or successful writer,” you get suggestions like “read,” “write every day,” and “write what you know.” A search for the “characteristics and strengths every writer needs” provides a list of traits that include discipline, imagination, a good grasp of grammar, and a love of words. I recently met a writer who embodies these characteristics. It’s Ann Acton, author of The Miracle Maker and The Vanishing (the latter is set for release this September).

When I met with Ann, I asked her what she thinks her greatest strengths or talents are. I expected her to say something similar to what came up in the Google search results, and while Ann is indeed disciplined, imaginative, and a lover of words, she believes her greatest talent is that she was able to rewrite the poem ’Twas the Night before Christmas. I have to admit to laughing out loud at her answer. Her response was unexpected, but it really set the tone for the whole interview. In fact, rather than calling it an interview, I would prefer to call it a not-coffee date with a soon-to-be best friend.

Over the course of our not-coffee date, I began to see why Ann’s self-identified talent is truly her greatest strength. Ann is real, is down to earth, loves to laugh, and has learned the hard way how to deal with difficult situations. She rewrites her own story every day and makes it fit her world. When her children struggled with learning, she home-schooled them. And when her husband got sick, she turned to writing—even when it required waking up at 5:00 a.m. This difficult time in her life led to her writing The Miracle Maker, which was published by Covenant Communications.

Ann told me that she did not originally want to be a writer—it wasn’t in her story. She hadn’t even entertained the idea until she completed a spur-of-the-moment rendition of ’Twas the Night before Christmas and her husband said, “You know that not everyone can do that, right? I think you are a writer.” A little further down the road, her mentor, Liz Adair, gave her the final push. Ann said, “[Liz] told me I was a writer, and then I was one.” Sometimes it just takes a few gentle nudges for us to recognize our potential. And now for some advice from Ann:

• “It has been the best thing for my writing—failing and then learning to not look at it as failing.”
• “Sit down and write every day. Write consistently. It doesn’t have to be good, because that is what the delete key is for.”
• “Writing is truly just therapy, so just pour it into your writing.”
• “I think our strength [as women] comes from [our] softness.”
• In speaking of the hard things we go through in life: “Someday, all these things will just be fodder for writing. I [didn’t think] anything good could come out of this part of my life, but now I can see it.”
• “Because you are a writer, people will connect with you. People will come up to you and just start spilling their guts. These are dreams people have to be writers, and it is so cool to be a part of that.”
• “The hardest part [about being a writer] is constantly failing. Writing is hard. It is subjective, [and] people are not all nice. A lot of writers say it is hard because of the solitude, but not for me. For me it is the constant reading something wonderful and going, ‘Will I ever be that good?’ Having to change that thinking process from ‘I am not good enough’ never goes away, . . . but I can get better. Whatever I put out today is not me. I can become better even if this [work] is a failure.”
• “People are so afraid someone is going to tell them they are really not a writer. You don’t need permission. Be gentle with yourself. Enjoy the process, because it is going to be a process.”
• “Comparing yourself only causes resentment. Someone else’s success has no effect on yours. Every writer struggles with something, and no journey is easy.”
• “Support your friends because their success has no bearing on you.”
• “Don’t let anyone have the power to take away your dreams. If there is something you want, why should you let anyone take that away from you?”
• “There are times and seasons. You are never going to have extra time, [because] you are going to fill it with something. If you want to be a writer, you have to fill it with writing.”
• “Just do something. Even reading a book is working on your writing.”

Ann also shared a tip from Liz:

• “Every single writer is working on something. Grammar is the easiest thing to be working on because it can be taught.”

I hope some of this advice Ann shared will give you the gentle nudge you might need to take your own story in a new direction.

By Lessa Harding

Do you remember the book Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery? One of the themes of that book (and the following books) is Anne’s search for kindred spirits. You know . . . other people who understand what you are going through and who help and love you as you go through it? Anne finds kindred spirits in girls her age, boys who tease her, resentful teachers, feisty old women, and young students who need her mentoring. She finds them in places she expects to and places she never thinks she will. In fact, at one point she says, “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” In interviewing Suzy Bills, I found a kindred spirit.

Suzy is determined, lively, and self-motivated. She is dedicated to her students, her family, and her business. She enjoys running, dancing, and anything that takes her outside. But the thing that impresses me most about Suzy is her desire to help those around her succeed. Suzy says the only thing she loves more than owning her own editing and writing business is teaching at BYU because it is “neat to be able to help mentor those who want to edit.” She enjoys “paying it forward, seeing [students] grow, and watching them succeed.”

In addition to mentoring others, teaching classes, and running her own business, Suzy is president of LDSPMA and head of the Faculty Publishing Service at BYU. Suzy admits that juggling everything is a challenge: “[I] always feel like there is chaos in my head. . . .Trying to figure out how to take care of it all” is part of the job.

Of course, Suzy’s not the only one with diverse and demanding responsibilities. So how do we keep working toward reaching our goals despite the busyness of life? Suzy mentioned a number of ways she keeps her life moving forward, including by picking herself up after making mistakes and by reciting her mottos: “you can do hard things” and “pain is temporary—hard work brings fulfillment.” To help us do the same, Suzy shared the following advice:

• • “You have to be your biggest advocate. Things are not going to happen if you just wait around and hope that your manager will give you a promotion or sit around and hope that people will hire you. . . .You have to seek out the opportunities. When you do that, . . . you are not at the mercy of what other people offer.”

• • “You can’t be perfect. . . . Editors tend to be perfectionists, and in some ways we are expected to be perfect because we are expected to catch other people’s mistakes. . . . But we can’t be [perfect]. It is hard sometimes to get over the mistakes . . . [but] it’s okay to make [them]. Do the best you can. Acknowledge [the mistakes], and do what you can to make them right. Take responsibility, but don’t let them derail you.”

• • “The way to help people is to be encouraging and have a positive perspective.”

• • When you are trying to overcome a mistake or setback, Suzy recommends that you “look back and see what you can do to avoid it in the future. Self-reflection . . . [is key] to learning from [mistakes]. . . . We often learn more from our mistakes than from what we do right.”

• • “Have an action plan. . . . The action plan helps you move forward. Even if it doesn’t work, you can keep trying and revising the plan.”

• “Be okay with where you are right now. Just have your plan for how you are going to keep improving. . . . It’s okay [to] start where you are. Don’t let where you are right now keep you from getting to where you want to be.”

I hope this advice helps the rest of you kindred spirits out there as you work to achieve your goals! All the best!

By Lessa Harding

Okay, full disclosure here. Denise is my mother. When I was growing up, I called her Super Mom. I’ve always been in awe of her abilities, her career, her relationship with my daddy (I am sure it is material for a Hallmark movie), and her dedication to doing what the Lord asks of her. Interviewing her was a privilege.

On paper, Denise is a successful corporate attorney who works for Facebook Ireland. She specializes in privacy, data protection and cyber security, technology, international business, and intellectual property law. She also serves in the Church and mentors young professionals in many stages of their careers. In February, she will fulfill her life-long dream of becoming a published author. But she is so much more than her LinkedIn profile. She is someone who has had trial after trial placed upon her shoulders and yet still stands tall. She is someone who is considered an expert in her field, and yet she always finds value in the advice and council that others give her. She is someone who takes baby steps toward her dreams and helps others to do the same. And she is someone who has learned the importance of being deliberate in the pursuit of those dreams. If anyone can provide a little guidance, inspiration, and direction as we create our vision for the coming year, it is her.

During the interview, Denise shared many things about her life and how she came to be who she is today. I captured it all in the recording I made, and I wish I could share every minute! But you will have to make do with a few highlights.

The first experience that caught my attention was the story of how Denise met the renowned physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer. She was introduced to him by her father, a chemist by trade. Mr. Oppenheimer took her on his knee and played with her. He was a kind old man with a twinkle and fire in his eyes that Denise has remembered every day since. Everything she has done has been to keep that same fire burning in herself and to show others, especially her children, what that fire and determination can do.

She had an experience as a young mother that I’ve thought a lot about since the interview. She described a conversation she had with her boss after returning to work following the birth of her fourth child. Her boss could tell she did not want to be there and asked her why she was. Her response? “I need to be.” His advice changed her life and set the tone for the rest of her career. He said, “The best thing you can do for your children is show them that no matter the circumstances of your life, you can make the best out of it. You can do your best, be your best, pursue your dreams, and be happy along the way.”

Denise shared many additional insights and lessons she has learned over the years. She also offered suggestions on how we can achieve our dreams:

• “Have your goals in mind. Don’t let your career take you where you don’t intend to go.”
• “When [you are] with someone, [be] with them.” Don’t pull out your cell phone, turn on the TV, or open your laptop. Instead, focus on the person, really listen to them, and let that person know how important they are.
• “Anyone can start down the road to attaining their dreams if they define their dreams. If it is a someday thing . . . you probably won’t get anywhere. . . . You need to start. . . . [First] create a picture in your head. [Then] keep going back to the dream and refining it. Remember that this is a journey. [Just] start taking baby steps.”
• “If you prioritize, if you make sure you know what is most important to you and do those things first, the rest will follow. Remember, you have a whole life time to fit it all in.”
• “Don’t let life take you on random detours. Don’t just passively watch life go by. There are so many amazing things to do in this world, and if you will be deliberate and remember what is most important, you can accomplish anything.”