Advice from the Experts: Marianna Richardson (Author, Professor, Wife, Mother)

By Lessa Harding

We all have moments that change our lives. For many of us, those moments are perfectly ordinary, yet somehow they shape the people we become. It could be a random exchange with a stranger on the street, an innocent comment from a child, or a sunrise after a long night. For me, it was a conversation I had with my stake president when I was 16 years old. We talked after a fireside, and while I can’t remember what the fireside was about or which building’s Relief Society room we were in, I can tell you that he asked me what I wanted to do with my life. As the opinionated daughter of a successful attorney, I boldly declared my resolution to pursue a career in law, changing the world one amicus brief at a time and spending any extra time traveling the world.

My stake president smiled broadly and somehow managed to turn the conversation to family. He asked if I wanted one. My answer was a very blunt no. Again, the stake president smiled, and then he told me about his wife and her life as a mother who was also attending school in the evenings. I later met his wife and was amazed to come to know a woman besides my own mother who loved being a mother and still pursued other dreams. All of a sudden, it wasn’t just my mom telling me that life doesn’t end when you have children. My stake president and his wife were telling me the same thing. The conversation with my stake president was my first introduction to Marianna Richardson, and it stuck with me as I became friends with her daughters, went to prom with her son, and babysat her grandkids. She’s one of the many women who showed me how important and fulfilling family is. The lesson she taught me is one of the reasons that made interviewing Marianna so much fun!

Marianna is married to Steve Richardson. She’s the mother of 12 children and author/coauthor of five books, including a fictionalized story from her family’s history, a book about C. S. Lewis, and a compilation of lessons her nine daughters learned while growing up with each other. Marianna is also an adjunct professor at BYU, where she teaches advanced writing for business and is the chief editor for the Marriott Student Review. She has a master’s degree from John’s Hopkins University and an doctorate degree from Seattle Pacific University. She’s working on her MBA and will be attending law school at BYU in the fall.

My favorite quote from Marianna during our interview is no surprise given our history. When I asked her how she balanced having a family and a career, she said: “The key is time. I didn’t do it all at once. I was an at-home mom for 40 years… The biggest frustration I see with a lot of women is they [think they] have to do it all now. . . . You don’t.”

I hope the other advice Marianna shared helps you as much as her advice has helped me!

• “[You] have to go back to the basics of writing before [you] can talk about the beauty of language. If you don’t know the basics, you can’t do the other stuff.”
• “I do feel that if you really want to become a good writer, you don’t need to just read, but read out loud so you are not only reading it but hearing it. Read out loud, have those experiences in language, . . . listen to the cadence. There is a difference.”
• Self-publishing requires self-promotion. “You really do need to promote as a part-time job.”
• “I think in order for a writer to become successful, you . . . need to stick with one genre. That is one of the business problems I have had. I like to write about too many different things. . . . You can’t have a following if you don’t stick with one genre.”
• “Experiential learning is how you really learn.”
• “It’s not that most people are not good writers; they just don’t understand the positive writing process. Writing . . . shouldn’t be a lonely experience. Yes, you write, but then you talk to a friend about it and have them read it and discuss how to make it better. . . . Don’t write the night before it’s due. If that is how you write, no wonder you hate it . . . . [In a] real writing process, you write it, you leave it, . . . you have other people read it and give you feedback, then you write it again. . . . [After that,] you have other people read it and do it again.”
• “I feel strongly and firmly that every woman has to have their own outlet, something that means something to them, some sort of intellectual stimulation. Quilting, creating works of art, or cooking. For me, it was education.”
• “[Some] women who have stayed home with their children . . . come out the other end [and] think they are done. I feel like now is the time to have your career. You don’t have to say ‘I am too old’ [or] ‘I can’t.’ I think that is totally wrong. If you want to get that graduate degree, go get it. . . . Don’t think you’re done at 60.”
• “Keep trying. Every great writer has the huge stack of rejection letters. But I think that is just a good understanding of life. I don’t care what you want to do or what you want to be; you need to learn how to handle rejection. Have that long-term view. . . . You can’t let those things get you down.”
• “Be patient. It is so easy to get frustrated. . . . It might take 10–20 years, and people don’t want to hear that. Be patient.”
• Personal motto: “Wahoo, the gospel is true!”