Lisa Valentine Clark, a self-described “plucky, spirited gal from Lincoln, Nebraska,” graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in English and began her career in the improv group The Garrens. Later, she starred in the movie Once I Was a Beehive, hosted the TV show Random Acts, published a book called Real Moms: Making It Up as We Go, and currently hosts BYUradio’s The Lisa Show.
Lisa didn’t plan on being an actress, author, comedian, or podcast host. “I just sort of stumbled into my life,” she says. “[I had] lots of hopes and dreams, and I always knew that I would have a fun [and interesting] life, but the details were all very muddy.”
Lisa met her husband, Christopher, in college. He had just returned from his mission in Finland, and she was the president of the English Society. Together they performed what she describes as a “really horrible, really cheesy” play called The Mysteries, which they took very seriously. It was a collection of Bible stories wherein he was cast as Satan and she was cast as a chicken on Noah’s Ark. Lisa recalls, “[I was] the best chicken, the most committed chicken. My mother-in-law, to this day, remembers my performance and asks me to do it regularly.”
Lisa credits her parents with nurturing her creativity and willingness to be vulnerable. “My dad just made us laugh all the time. My mom didn’t take herself seriously. She was really super committed to whatever she did.”
Still, growing up was sometimes difficult for Lisa, being “a little bit awkward” and feeling different because of her faith. “I always felt off, I think, like most people do.” Instead of feeling bad about her otherness, she decided to commit to it one hundred percent, embracing her self-deprecating humor. “I’ve collected people in my life that also love ‘their thing,’ but don’t take themselves too seriously.”
While she and her friends are all artists, in the end, they all just want to make each other laugh. She says, “I don’t try to pretend that I don’t care…But I can’t control the outcome, or if people like it or don’t.” This confidence allows her to have fun with the people she cares about, taking her to exciting new places in life.
Lisa’s open and honest approach to life enables her to connect with others and communicate with them in a relatable way. She doesn’t try to divide her life into categories or pretend that she or her family is perfectly put together. The image she portrays in public matches who she is at home. “Come into the fold. [. . . ] And let’s have a dinner party after.”
This mindset has been a springboard to lift Lisa from dark times in her life, most significantly the loss of her husband in 2020 from Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS). Lisa says, “You’ve got to really feel your feelings…the deepest, darkest lows crack you wide open to feel higher highs. And I do feel like there’s a purpose in it, and I don’t want to be, like, ‘Oh, there’s purpose in suffering,’ because I sort of hate myself when I say that. But I do think it is true.”
Christopher’s terminal diagnosis meant that Lisa witnessed her talented husband slowly decline over four and half years. A trained classical pianist, he had always found joy and expression in music. Lisa remembers, “He closed the piano, and I said, ‘What are you doing?’ And he said, ‘My piano playing days are over. It was a good run…So now I just want to focus on [directing and doing] other things that I love.’” For Lisa, accepting that Christopher could no longer play the piano meant coming to terms with his impending death. She told herself, “This is happening. You’d better get with the program and learn how to carry this, or you’re going to fall apart every day. And you’re going to miss the joy that is surrounding you.”
Even while Lisa was caring for him by brushing his teeth, dressing him, and getting him ready for the day, Christopher assured her that he didn’t blame God for his trials and helped her see that life isn’t fair for anyone. “[His outlook] really softened it and changed my whole perspective of God’s purpose for each one of us, how He loves us, how He trusts us, and what faith really means,” Lisa says. “Something that Chris taught me in going through this is that, no matter what we go through, God is with us. And I saw evidence of that every day. And then I was telling the kids, ‘Oh, do you see that? That means God loves us.’”
Lisa expands her innate capacity for joy through humor, sharing that she and Christopher laughed together every day. “But when he needed to feel the gravity of his situation and the deep sense of loss, he felt it.” Sharing this balance with Christopher sustained her during the hard times.
After his passing, Lisa carried these lessons into her own healing process. She admits that it’s not always easy to maintain a joyful attitude and that sometimes she would rather stay in her comfortable bed than face her grief. “I try not to let it ruin my entire day as it used to. I try to honor it and feel it for as long as I need to, and recognize that I’m not going to feel that way all the time.”
Talking with supportive friends and family helps Lisa sort through her thoughts and emotions. She also stresses the importance of having a goal or purpose to give herself a break from the heaviness of life. Lisa recalls, “I haven’t played the piano for years, probably over a decade. And then about six, seven months after Chris died, I just was so in my head and not ready to see people or be in the world. And I started playing the piano again.” Learning a musical piece helped her focus on something good. “Those kinds of coping skills have saved my life.”
Despite the challenges Lisa has faced, she maintains that life is not meant to be a punishment, but to bring joy. “We have the opportunity to show and share love,” she says. In the final weeks of Chris’s life, this was manifested in how people wanted to express their love to him, and how all he wanted to do was tell everyone how much and why he loved them. This experience deepened her conviction that relationships and expressions of love outweigh creative achievements and résumés.
While she acknowledges that it would be easy to say “This is it” after such a profound loss, Lisa promised Christopher that she wouldn’t give up. “I feel called to create more relationships, better relationships with my children and friends…None of us knows how much time we have, and our time on earth is so precious and important.”
Lisa’s journey has taught her to appreciate and create meaningful experiences for herself and others. “I feel that so passionately,” she says. “That includes art, right? It’s all-encompassing. But the real focus, I feel, is those relationships and how we show up for the world, because it does have a rippling effect.” She finds that humor isn’t just about punchlines—it’s about using the unique talents and gifts we are given. Making people laugh is inseparable from her faith, and in the end, she says, “It all boils down to love.”
This article is based on a Called to Create podcast aired season 4, episode 17. To hear the full podcast, click here.