Al Carraway is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well as a multi-award-winning international speaker and author of the books Wildly Optimistic, More Than the Tattooed Mormon, and Cheers to Eternity. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband, Ben, and their three children. For the past eleven years, she’s traveled the world telling her story of conversion and faith through difficult times.
According to Al, “Joining the Church is the most personal thing you could ever ask of someone,” as you have to change the way you think while leaving behind traditions, culture, and more that were once all you knew. Al began navigating these changes as a newly baptized tattooed twenty-one-year-old, and found that many established members of the Church did not treat her well. Being productive rather than destructive in the face of obstacles has become her process, and paying attention to her recurring thoughts has helped her incorporate God in that process.
Al has continually built her relationship with God since her conversion sixteen years ago. Whether mad, hurt, or confused, she’s honest with Him about how she feels and speaks to Him as though He’s right in front of her. During times when she’s felt He’s not there or not listening, she’s discovered that she simply hadn’t been willing to see how He showed up for her in ways she didn’t desire or expect. The adversary can get in our heads and alter our perspectives. Al fights his influence by being productive, by casting him out, and by removing the limitations she has placed on God while rooting herself deeper in her knowledge that He is real.
As her relationship with God has developed, Al has learned that, for her, the unexpected and unwanted things in her life are always God intervening on her behalf. All good things come from God, and she finds reminders of Him in even the smallest of good feelings. “That is God participating in your personal life. That is you experiencing God.”
Self-love has bridged the gap between insecurity and Al’s God-given purpose. As a writer and speaker, she doesn’t put stock in what others think of her, good or bad, because those opinions do not fill her. Allowing them to affect her can be disheartening and unmotivating. When she moved to Utah, strangers told her, “God could never love someone like you. Why would I ever want to date you? Who is going to marry someone that looks like that?” In recent years, Al continues to receive hate that sometimes escalates over extended periods. She trusts her relationship with God and does what He asks her to do, even if she knows she will face unpleasant backlash. She invests in loving herself and witnesses the ways God participates in her life. “Love God and serve Him and everything else is just noise. And when you do that . . . life just blossoms.”
A few years ago, Al’s family lived in a single hotel room in New York for two months while looking for housing. COVID, insurance, and other circumstances beyond their control left her feeling helpless. When talking to God about how she had been left out to dry, God responded, “Why won’t you let me bless you? Why won’t you let me take you somewhere better? That’s why I exist.” Al has learned to let God show her how great He is through all her trials and seasons of life. While there may be plenty to be said about what Peter could have done “better” when walking on the water, the truth remains that Peter is the only one who got out of the boat and tried to get closer to Christ. When Christ said, “O thou of little faith,” it wasn’t to rebuke Peter for his shortcomings—it was in response to Peter doubting that Christ would save him. Christ was always going to rescue him.
Not only will Christ rescue us, but He will also take us somewhere better, whatever that path might look like. Al shared, “Our God is one who only exists to bring us to greater magnifications.” She continues to work on trusting Him better, stating, “My favorite things have come from my sinkings.”
Al also voiced, “Our God is not a god of avoidance and prevention.” How many miracles and conversions would be lost if God had prevented the suffering that preceded them? In every detail of our lives, God is working to keep His promises and prepare for us something better than what we want for ourselves, even in the middle of the suffering. Many times, Al has acted on a prompting that didn’t seem to pan out only to find significance in it with the passing of time. The point isn’t that God can calm the wind and water—it’s that we continue reaching for Him, even in the storm.
Al is passionate about embracing a lifestyle that reflects God’s importance. She’s teaching her family to try new things, to invest in themselves, to be intentional with their time, and to talk to God. Even when they didn’t have much money, they would spend time together by getting in the car and driving, with or without a specific destination in mind. When someone says or does something hurtful, Al lets it hurt for a little bit, but she doesn’t let a bad day turn into a bad life. Her goal is to continually seek more ways to magnify her life.
As for her old nickname, “the tattooed Mormon,” Al confesses that she has always hated it. Years ago, she received a blessing and was told that God does not see her tattoos. To Him, they do not exist. If He doesn’t see them, why should she care what others think about them? Ninety-nine percent of the time, she doesn’t think about them, and once people start to know her, they don’t seem to see them either.
Loving herself and accepting the love of others, including God, continues to change her life. Al testifies that all of God’s future blessings for us are already prepared by Him. We are His, and that is all that matters in making us worthy. “That is everything.”
This article is based on a Called to Create podcast aired season 2, episode 2. To hear the full podcast, click here.